One of the most basic principles taught in the study of psychology is that all organisms seek pleasure. Therefore, behaviors that are rewarded tend to be incorporated and solidified while behaviors that have a neutral effect or are blatantly punished tend to get extinguished. What exactly is pleasure? Anything -- whether it be physical, emotional, spiritual or mental -- that provides a sense of well-being. Indeed, just the act of receiving praise, which can give one a warm, fuzzy feeling inside, an experience of lightness in spirit, or a sense of positive self-image is often enough to strengthen certain behavior.

When working on self-healing, this is an important concept to remember. For if you are trying to heal yourself with behaviors that don’t bring pleasure, you are in for quite a challenge. This is why so many diets fail. Since diet is a good example, let’s continue with that analogy for a while…

One of my specialties as a therapist was eating disorders. I spent a lot of time with people fixated on their body image and food. Most had tried so many diets, pills, hypnosis, 12-step groups – a myriad of things -- all to no avail. Time after time dieters would fail to lose significant weight, berating themselves for their weakness and feeling all the worse. Or, even more frequently, reach a weight target, only to gain it all back. The famous “yo-yo” syndrome. This diet behavior is epidemic in our culture because it is spawned by a fatal flaw: it relies on punishment rather than reward. What it doesn’t realize, and fails to incorporate, is that organisms seek pleasure. In fact, it is the reason for our being. Pain is meant as a warning, like a light coming on in our dash, that something needs tending but pleasure is our natural state.

So! If you want to reach a certain weight target – or any other goal – you must make it pleasurable. This can be pleasure in the now, or fantasized pleasure of delayed gratification. It doesn’t matter, as long as it is real enough to you in the moment. For instance, some people are more successful at dieting when they join a diet group. This is because they have added the pleasure of making new friends and adding support and encouragement to their venture. Others have permanently lost weight by focusing on a long-held dream. Perhaps the person always wanted to study dance, run a marathon, or climb a mountain. By consistently visualizing engaging in these activities, reading books on them, watching television shows on them, and meditating on how great it feels (not will feel) to move in that way, to cross the finish line, to see the vista at the top, etc., one is already giving one’s self pleasure, with the promise of more to come. The body responds to this, becoming more cooperative with the plan.

There are many ways to seek pleasure without sabotaging your goal. For instance, many people who want to get fit enroll in aerobics or yoga classes. Instead of trying to jog, bike or walk in a solitary way, relying on one’s so-called willpower alone, joining a class engages the mind/body/spirit in pleasurable activities such as learning new moves, being in a like-minded group, listening to exciting music, experiencing new sensations, etc.

Likewise, if you want to heal, seek to bring yourself to a state of pleasure. If something hurts, do active visualizations of when it didn’t. Pull up memories of how it felt to move in a way you currently can’t, or had energy that is now lacking. Fondle the memory, squeezing out every detail. If you were a competitive runner, remember how your whole body held taut and ready at the starting gate, how your legs surged beneath you at the sound of the gun, the feel of the air brushing your skin, cooling your sweat. Experience the body memory of your heart pounding, the emotional thrill of sprinting just inches ahead of the runner behind you, straining to keep the lead. Remember the times you won, the pride of loved ones, the praises, the sheer joy of life in the moment. And use that as motivation. Rather than berate yourself for getting into this mess, feel sorry for yourself, or accept a proclamation (diagnosis) of hopelessness, remind your body it knows how to be healthy and that you command it to do so again. Then find ways to have fun with it. Use imagery, memory, active visualization, fantasy, music, dance, writing, books, meditation tapes or any other thing you can create or access to have fun healing. And don’t work so hard at having fun that it’s work! Let it all go… Watch a funny movie, dance barefoot on the beach. Whatever it takes. The point is, if you want to be whole, you gotta have fun.